Hello friends! Welcome to my first mailbag newsletter! As promised, I’ll be answering readers’ questions in the second newsletter each month (May’s is a wee bit late due to my MDW vacation to Florida). Here are the questions that I’ll be answering today:

Your beloved child is home from college…with all of their STUFF! The first step is decluttering. Ask your child if there is anything that they didn’t use at all that doesn’t need to go back with them in the fall. Or maybe they don’t need something due to a new living situation in the fall.

Now it’s time to get everything contained as much as possible. If things don’t fit in plastic storage bins, I would invest in some vacuum bags. These containers are a great way to keep everything together and clean over the summer. (Make sure to clean all of the bedding before you store it!)

Then assess your storage options - basement, attic, crawl space, garage, etc. With everything properly sealed, you don’t have to worry about putting items in areas where there isn’t great climate control, but you could always throw a few silica packets in each bin to help with moisture just in case.

If you really don’t have any extra space in the storage areas in your house, could you take a tip from college and raise your child’s bed to see if you can fit most of the items under there. Is there a family member who lives nearby who may be able to store the items for you in their house? As a last resort, there is always a short term storage facility. If you end up storing items in various places, I would make a list of what is stored where and link that to a reminder in your phone.

Decluttering is very overwhelming - making decision after decision on what to keep is exhausting, so you may have little capacity left for deciding what to do with what you don’t want to keep. Here are my tips for helping you decide - and some may surprise you.

While I always support trying to keep things out of the trash as much as possible, your number one priority should be your mental health. What is easiest for you? What do you have time for? What is the value of your time? What is the return on hassle?

Let’s start by talking about selling. Everyone wants to make money from their stuff. (Unfortunately, your stuff is probably worth a lot less than you think.) You can either sell items yourself, or you can utilize a reseller or consignment store to save money, but not make as much (most take a large percentage of the sale since they are the ones doing the work.). I think it’s smart to create some guidelines for yourself. Perhaps you say to yourself, I am only going to try to sell this item on eBay if I think I can make at least $100. Anything less than that and I will donate it.

A quick way to see how much something might sell for is to upload a photo to eBay or Google lens. On the eBay website, make sure you are looking at items that have sold, not just what’s currently listed. If you have several items that you think may be worth reselling, you can reach out to a local or online auction house to see if they could help.

It can be very difficult to think about giving away an item that cost a lot of money when purchased, but please keep this idea in mind, “Remember that the money you spent is already gone. You are not any richer because you store this item in your home, and you won’t be poorer if you let it go." - Cassandra Aarssen

I think it’s great to try to donate/give away what is left. There are two approaches here. You could divide things by category and you can try to give certain things to certain charities, or you can just give it away for free through Facebook Marketplace or your local Buy Nothing group. Using the latter method is much faster and less time consuming. You can even put everything out at the curb and tell people to stop by at their convenience. This is also a great approach when you are emptying out a house quickly and perhaps don’t live in the area and know where to bring donations.

Look to see what the local recycling center will take as well - old worn out pots and pans that aren’t in good enough shape to donate can probably get recycled if your center accepts metal.

After you’ve sold and donated what you can, you will need to throw away the rest. Sometimes it’s most cost effective to bring in a dumpster and sometimes it’s most cost effective to have a junk company haul it away.

If you are local to Northern NJ, check out my list of donation resources.

Before we organize, we always start with decluttering. Remember that it’s always easier to organize “less”.

Here are the questions to ask yourself when going through your makeup:

Once you’ve reduced your makeup collection to items you use and love and aren’t expired, then we can think about storage. Without seeing a photo of your bathroom, it’s a bit hard to give specific advice, but here’s some general advice. First, think about how you “group” your makeup items. Would you like it grouped by type - foundations, eyeliners, etc. or would you like it grouped by category - daytime, evening, etc. Once you decide how you want to group it, think about the space where it’s going to live. Is it going to be in a cabinet, in a drawer, on the counter, etc. Then you can search for storage containers that fit that space and your collection.

Laundry is a chore that seems to multiply faster than missing socks, and folding has got to be the worst part of the process. I work with many clients with ADHD for whom laundry is a particularly overwhelming and tedious task, so I've come up with several ideas to share with my clients for making laundry folding less tedious. Here are some ideas, in no particular order:

First, let's talk about reducing the amount you need to fold.

1. Never fold sheets again. I always try to wash sheets first thing in the morning so that they are done and ready to be put right back on the bed before bedtime that night. Why fold sheets when you can just put them back on again? You can use a similar strategy for bath towels too.

2. Have the rest of the family help. Get your kids involved in laundry very young. They can start with turning clothes right-side out before getting washed, and then have them move up to folding when they are able. Their "folding" may not look like yours, but if they are willing to wear it, who cares?

3. Think about what actually needs to be folded. We do not need to do laundry like our mothers. Create folding "rules" that work for your family today. For example, maybe you only fold what you are worried about getting wrinkled. Remember to keep expectations low for family members with ADHD since laundry is particularly painful for them. Perhaps only their shirts need to be folded?

Okay, we've reduced the amount of folding, but there's still some we have to do. How can we make it less awful?

1. Do a little each day so it's not overwhelming. If you do one load each day, start to finish, there is never a huge pile to fold.

2. Listen to a fun podcast, audiobook, or some great tunes while you fold. TV can be a bit too distracting, though I let my kids watch TV while they fold - they just need a lot of redirecting when they get absorbed in a storyline.

3. Fold with a friend! Have you heard of body doubling? Body doubling is when you work alongside another person, each doing your own tasks, but use each other's presence as a motivator to stay on track. This is a particularly effective method for helping people with ADHD tackle tedious tasks. To create a body doubling environment, can you FaceTime with a friend or sibling and chat while you both fold? Have a folding party with your neighbor? Sometimes just texting a friend and telling her that you are going to fold is enough to motivate someone. There are lots of virtual body doubling options online as well. I host virtual body doubling sessions, and most of the attendees are folding laundry while they chat. You can find out more here.

4. If you can afford it, outsourcing laundry is a great swap of financial resources for time. You can have a service pick it up or perhaps hire someone to come into the house to take care of it. I know many folks who pay their house cleaners a little extra to fold and put away laundry. 

If you want to hear more of my tips about the laundry process in general, listen to my tips on the Five Fresh Tips Podcast where I focus on laundry! Apple Podcast link. Spotify link.

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